Showing posts with label sleeping pills. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleeping pills. Show all posts

Learning to let go

I was sleeping like a baby last night.
So happy finally I experience the feeling of having a good night sleep.
Too tired. I think I went off almost 12 midnight. Yeah! Cinderella style.

My reading session last night is really meaningful.
I learn many things from the book I bought.
Many of us have thought what we have read from the book, it just we never written it down like those authors who are earning the cash out of what they wrote.

We read it. So what? Do we really dare to apply in real life.
Reading from the book is just theory but the most important is to dare yourself to practice what you have read.

It is experience from other by accident and they are now telling it as a story.

Here are something I pick up from the book that interest me a lot.

" Where you are in your present situation is not nearly important as where you are going in your life."
" All successful living is about direction, and as long as you consistently move in the direction of your dreams, you are on your way to a life free of the limitations of the past."

Well, this make sense .... it is all about direction to reach your destination.

There is another thing that I have learned and I can say many of us dare not take this route.
I was saying in previous entry about this book call 'Letting go of your banana'.
I dont finish my reading yet just at 1st chapter and getting interesting to share to my friends out there.

It is about in Africa where they catch monkey by putting banana inside the narrow to jar.
The monkey will come to dip their hand and grip the banana and their hand got stuck into the jar and they could be catch easily. This monkey have choice to let go off the banana but remain hang on to it until this banana get rotten and stink finally the monkey got no choice to let go but at this time too late because he got caught.

Same goes to all of us.
We work. We grumble. We complaint. We bitch around. But we still remain there. Working at the same place until thing got ugly or uncomfortable situation then it is too late since damage have been done.
Why?

We are not willing to let go even though we sense trouble.
We only letting go when we have no choice.
Why we still not letting go? Because we feel comfortable at where we are right now.
Why we could not move on? Because we couldnt dare to take the first step.

As I once said this in my previous entry, Life is not easy and it is no joke either!


Anyway let me finish the book first! hihihihihihihi

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Life is still extreme

Yeay!!!!! holiday..... so happy.
I slept around 1am last night and thought of get myself over the line until at least 10am.
Urgghhhhh! suddenly my shontelle 'Perfect nightmare' ringing to my ears. uwwaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Only 7.40am woooorrrrr!!!! Boss what you want??? I want to sleep!!!! I want to roll and roll again on my bed. Its still early!!!1 My heart protest before answer his call. Yeah! call me when he is on the way to airport.
Last night already in communication over sms until almost 10.30pm. Miss me too much. hahaha... ok ok I give you chance until I get you one hot babe as your PA. Then I can get my life back. cindyrina!!!! Fighting!!!!
I thought of continue rolling like a spring roll on the bed but then decided to on my Zumba exercise. Yeay! lets Zumba!!!!!
I thought of doing some cleaning later on... as usual when it come to that , suddenly I feel sick!!!! hehehehe one sickness call L A Z Y!!!
I end up continue my research on Bunion and try to find the best treatment and cost.mmmmm look like I have to put more effort so I can have more saving before I become handicapped.
Last night my Boss trying to create conversation with me and we were talking about asean country. Then I told him, my dreams is to explore China. He said he never been to China. Whoa!!!! so much money never been to China??? What a waste!!!! hahaha at least I have something to proud of. Then he said what to see in China????" Hello!!!! more reading please!!!! Then he said you not Chinese. I said what is the problem??? Then I told him most of my friend told me China is too big for me to explore but to me thats why I need to start it now. When I am young and healthy. I really want to go through that Silk Road journey and then all the way to Tibet. I know its sound a bit weird but I just want to do that at least before I go to another world or this earth got wipe out!
Then he said... that is a good thinking. Duh!!!! of course la...hehehehe...
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My Independence Day Celebration

On 30th Aug 2010, I woke up with a half dead body.
I was purging and my head feel heavy and my body was aching.
I was unwell since the past few weeks and that morning was the worst.
I drove to work with half eyes open and manage to reach Citibank Tower safely unhurt.

When I reach office , locked my room door and continue sleeping on the carpet , dirty or not dirty I don't give a damn anymore. All I care my head feel very heavy and body feeling so weak.

Start 8.30am, I am trying my best to maintain strong in front of everybody. Yeah! again try to be wonder woman!
By 1.00pm, again I locked myself in my room and lie down flat on the floor. Make thing worst, I was fasting and forgot to bring my jacket. It was so cold and my sickness still there and getting worsen. I keep telling myself , I need to be strong and tomorrow is a holiday, I can rest and rest and rest. I was waiting for 5.30pm to drive back home.

Guess where am I on eve of Independence Day???
This is the history of my life for the 1st time, lying on the hospital bed with dripping stuck into my body . I was coughing non stop and purging like mad. My body was so weak and feel like dying. I refuse to be admitted as usual my stubborness over everything!
This is the cause of Viral Attack to my body.

I forced myself drove back home and admit myself on my own bed.
when everybody shouting Happy Independence day when the clock struck 12.00, I was dozzing off with antibiotic, sleepy cough medicine and 3 tabs of sleeping pills.
I only awake at 1.00pm the next day with hope I could recover but yet I feel the same.
I am back to sleep after another 3 tabs of sleeping pills with hope if I happens to wake up and I feel much more better.
I only wake up at 8.00pm and then continue with another 2 tabs of sleeping pills to continue sleeping to the next morning.

I only wake up on 1st Sep 2010 at 5.00am for morning breakfast.
My wish to only wake up when Aug end comes true!!!!
Although, i still feel weak and my body still aching but not as bad as the past 2 days.

I hope I could recover, I still throw up when I eat something so I end up drinking. Then here goes the minor purging.... ah!!!! hope my body system back to normal again...
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